Fathers are an important part of their children's lives. When fathers are involved, children are more likely to:

• Be drug free;
• Graduate from high school;
• Stay out of jail;
• Delay pregnancy; and
• Earn more money as adults.

Getting Around the Obstacles

Do you and your child's mother seem to argue every time you see each other?

Ask her to drop the child off at a friend or relative's house so you can pick your child up there.

Are child support issues getting in the way?

The emotional support you give your child can be just as important as your financial support. It is important to keep the two issues separate. Stay involved.

Do you have a hard time planning things to do with your child?

You don't have to spend money to have quality time with your child. You can:

• Wash your car together
• Play a computer/board game
• Go to a museum
• Throw a ball around
• Take a walk
• Watch a movie
• Read a book

It is important that you spend time with your child.

Tips for being a part of your child's life:

Say good things about your child in front of his or her friends.

Read a story to your child and include both of you in it. If you live far away, record yourself reading a story, then send the book and tape to your child.

Touch your child's shoulder or arm when you talk to him or her.

Ask your child for a hug – even if he or she is a teenager.

Tell your child about a special quality you see in him or her.

Phone your child before he or she goes to bed just to say good night.

Put an encouraging note in the textbook of your child's hardest subject.

Find Out More. . .

People aren't born knowing how to be good parents. Here are some things you can do to learn about becoming a good father.

THINK about your father's parenting. Which of his qualities do you want to pass on to your child? Which do you want to discard?

WATCH other fathers with their children – try to adopt the good qualities and avoid the bad.

ASK fathers you respect how they deal with a parenting problem.

TALK to your child's mother and show her respect. Reassure her that you want to work with her and not against her.

For more information or to learn the location of local services, call or write the Non-Custodial Parent Services Unit:

NCP Services Unit
32 W. Randolph, 11th Floor
Chicago, IL 60601
312-793-7987

Persons using a teletypewriter (TTY) can call toll free at 1-800-526-5812.

For pratical help on how to be a good dad, contact:

National Center for Fathering
1-800-593-3237
P.O. Box 413888
Kansas City, MO 64141
Web site: National Center for Fathering

(Ask for a free copy of the center's magazine, "Today's Father")